Stupid Criminals File: 1/8/18

Stupid Criminal Files

Snow thwarts would be robber: Mother Nature stopped Dustin Johnson from stealing thousands of dollars worth of merchandise from the Minot, North Dakota Hobby Lobby. The 22-year-old filled up a shopping cart with about $4,000 in products before walking out of the store. Unfortunately for him, his cart got stuck in the snow in the parking lot and tipped over. Johnson fled, but he left his wallet in the cart, which contained identification with his address. He is now facing a theft charge. Source: Associated Press

Woman steals drinks from a bar, won't quit dancing: If you want to meet the life of the party, head to Miramar Beach, Florida. An unidentified woman was arrested after she not only stole drinks from the Baytowne Wharf bar, but also refused to leave the bar's stage. The staff asked her multiple times to leave, but instead she stopped her singing and dancing and simply sat and refused to leave. In the end, she was escorted out of the bar and charged with trespassing. Source: NWF Daily News

Man calls police to report himself for drunk driving: Michael Lester had way, way too much fun on New Year's Eve and he knew it. The Florida man called the Polk County Sheriff's office and reported that he was driving drunk. When asked where he was, Lester told the dispatcher he was too drunk and had no idea. "I don't know, driving around, trying to get pulled over, actually," Lester actually said out loud. "I'm driving on the wrong side of the road." The dispatcher tried to get him to pull the car over and while Lester did stop, he decided to pump the brakes in the middle of the road. The drunk driver also admitted to taking meth and running on days worth of no sleep. Fortunately no one was hurt, which is the main reason why Polk County cops couldn't help but "LOTO, that means we Laughed Our Tasers Off." Source: Associated Press

Mark Manuel

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